How To: Bath Time Fun

Felt like you’ve been missing something in your life? Sick of standing up to bathe? Writer Georgia Lejeune gives us her how to on bath time fun! Trust us, it might just change your life – or at least your prejudice on bathing horizontally. 

I’ve always thought taking a bath was a reasonably straightforward exercise. But I’ve learnt recently, after a friend’s bath mishap, that not everyone is as bath savvy as I thought. This led to multiple bath discussions with a range of very vocal representatives of both the bathing community and what I will refer to as the ‘yet to be converted’. If you’re a frequent bather then I need not waste my breath on telling you how to spend your time in the tub – I’m sure you have your process locked down. This article is for the perennial shower dwellers, the naysayers, the ‘why would you want to stew in your own filth’ talkers.

For the bath natives, it’s your job to share the good word of the tub with your close-minded mates who find it necessary to only wash standing up (eurgh, can you imagine! ). If you’ve always been curious about what goes on behind the closed door of the bathroom, the sound of running water audible, then stay right here my friend. I’ve got the tips you need to turn that vertical wash down into the horizontal soak-fest that dreams are made of. Once you’ve conquered the bath, feel free to expand and change these steps to suit your own style. I’m not a purest. I just want everyone to see the candlelight and take a load off their feet for some serious bathing.

Tips for an excellent bathing experience:

Time is of the (lavender) essence:

If you’re under strict time restrictions then bathing is not for you – at least not today. The first lesson in bathing is to make time for it. If you’re in a rush and have to get somewhere or you’ve got a to do list as long as the pieces of hair stuck in your plug hole then now is not the time. Create a pocket of time in your day and schedule in a bath. It’s not unusual to hear me say, ‘Seeya guys, I’m going to go home and take a bath’. Just like eating and sleeping, I prioritise my bathing. Turn your phone off, lock your dog outside, give your partner a bowl of treats and a roll of bubble wrap (can work for children as well) and get that water running.

Do something while doing nothing:

If the thought of lying still in a tub of hot water sounds like your idea of a mind-numbingly boring experience then never fear! I won’t fool you into thinking that I’m the great goddess of zen who can lie for an hour in a bath just meditating quietly. Books, podcasts and trashy tv shows are your bath time friend. For those of you who haven’t yet mastered the art of reading in the bath (don’t worry, time and practise will keep those pages from going soggy), you’ll find some excellent bath caddies on the market. Also, don’t make the mistake of taking a library book/ipad/kindle/friend’s treasured hardback into the bath on your first few attempts. This art will take some time and practice so start with a book you don’t care much about. Just because you’re taking some time out to relax doesn’t mean you can’t pop on an episode of Friends or tune into your favourite podcast while you lie prostrate.

Turn up the heat:

Temperature is a vital component and one that can easily scald the bejeezus out of a first time bather. A big mistake for first timers is to fill up the bath with boiling hot water and then sit for a few minutes in a fiery tub before emerging light headed, bright red and cranky (you’ll have a lot in common with a lobster). First of all, don’t wait until the bath is full to get in. You’ll probably have an Archimedes style bath-overflowing situation and it’s a little too late to change the temperature when there’s no room for any more water. Start the hot tap on its own – the water will take a little while to heat up properly. When the bath is about ¼ full, feel the temperature and adjust accordingly.

Make sure you feel the water with a foot or elbow as your hands aren’t going to give you the best indication of temperature. Then hop on in when the water is still fairly low. This will give you a ‘frog in a pot of water’ experience – your body will get used to the temperature gradually as the water fills up the bath. A cheat for staying comfortable is to stick your feet out of the bath when you’re starting to overheat a little. It’s also a good idea to keep a glass of cool water next to the bath for regular sipping.

Note: if you couldn’t be bothered reading through all of that, the short version is: stop being a wuss and just get in the hot bath – I have no time for your whinging.

Don’t be dismayed if you need to try these techniques a few times before really getting into the groove of bath time. For those of you just beginning your bath time journey, best of luck to you. For those who have given up on bathing altogether, please lose my number. I have no time for bath haters. Gotta go before my tub runneth over!